Pocket Ref Third Edition

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. Useless fact. The conveyor belt maximum angle of loose cement is 22 degrees. Useful fact! John Lennon’s first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles. Useless fact. The normal human hearing range is between 30 and 15,000 Hertz. Useful fact! Cephalacaudal recapitulation is the reason our extremities develop faster than the rereference-bookst of us. Useless fact. The safe load for clear solid ice if you’re cross country skiing is 3 inches. Useful fact!

What’s the difference between useless facts and useful facts? Well, useless facts are useless, just like this sentence. Useful facts are useful (warning: this sentence is also useless)! Useless facts can be found all over the Internet. But a whole heapful of useful facts can be found in one place, the Pocket Ref 3rd Edition at Harbor Freight Tools (Ref stands for “reference”—another useful fact).

This book has it all—periodic tables, pipe specs, material weights and other properties, conversion tables, general science, 14-year perpetual calendar and my personal favorite, radioisotope half lives! Get one for the home, one for the toolbox, one for the glove box and one for your pocket, just make sure it’s a big pocket—the book contains over 800 pages of steaming hot reference information!

But who wants to put steaming hot anything in their pocket? Let’s try that again—the book has over 800 pages of stuff! Much better… If you’re a contractor, DIYer, mom, dad, uncle, carpenter, metallurgist, ornamental horticulturalist, mad scientist, hydraulic pressure historian or none of the above, this handy reference book is sure to become a favorite—and that’s a useful fact!

Pocket Ref Third Edition
Sku #: 35569

The Camouflage Utility Blanket, Projectile Cantaloupe and Haute Couture Fashion

utility-blanketThe 72″ x 80″ blanket is big enough to wrap around most furniture and thick enough to protect finishes. Double-stitched for durability, the blanket is ideal for moving, placing items in storage or protecting furniture during construction. Customers love this blanket though we have to admit, there have been a lot of questions about why the blankets have a camouflage design. It all started back in the early 2000’s. Fashion icon Valentino was reviewing fabrics for his spring line.

While pondering a bolt of raw silk, he was suddenly struck in the head with a cantaloupe (long story, but will suffice to say never stand within throwing distance of your personal assistant who’s on her third day of the Scaresdale diet). He was temporary rendered unconscious. While unconscious, he dreamed that he was a general in the fashion army and wore a camouflage field uniform, a.k.a. fatigues. He was meeting with his two military advisors, Giselle Bündchen and Kate Moss, to plan an all-out offensive on Michael Kors for selling out to Target. In his dream, he turned to Giselle and said “Darling, why do they call what I’m wearing fatigues?” To which she responded, “Because, darling, camouflage is so bourgeois, you feel fatigued just wearing it.” Valentino woke from his dream with two things: a nasty lump on his head from the projectile cantaloupe and the commitment to integrate camouflage into haute couture fashion.

As coincidence would have it, Valentino’s stepsister’s second cousin once removed was friends with the first cousin of the ex-wife’s niece of the woman who happened to be married to a buyer at Harbor Freight who was forced to go to a fashion show while vacationing with his wife in New York where Valentino’s new line of camouflage fashion was being revealed. On the way home from the fashion show, he too was struck by a cantaloupe (long story, but will suffice to say never stand within throwing distance of a malfunctioning mechanical orangutan at a produce stand). He woke up with two things: a nasty lump on his head from the cantaloupe and, well, you can figure out the rest… The 72″ x 80″ Camouflage Utility Blanket from Harbor Freight Tools—the perfect integration of function and fashion.

4 Piece Stainless Steel Stock Pot Set

4 Piece Stainless Steel Stock Pot Set

If you love to cook, you’ll love the 4 Piece Stainless Steel Stock Pot Set from Harbor Freight Tools. If you hate to cook, you’ll also love the 4 Piece Stainless Steel Stock Pot Set from Harbor Freight Tools. Here’s why. Open up a cookbook and you’ll notice pages of complex ingredients, multiple steps, specialty equipment… these are called “recipes” and they can get complicated! You’d think you’d need a Ph.D. in culinary linguistics and the skills of a surgeon to prepare good food these days. But alas! A stock pot recipe looks more like this:

  1. Put stock pot over heat
  2. Add food to stock pot and cook ‘til done
  3. Take food out of stock pot and serve!

Okay, maybe that’s simplifying things a bit but stock pots really are the ideal kitchen accoutrement for cooking up a large quantities of food quickly and easily. Soups, stews, chili… oh lordy, just think of the chili you can make? And guess what, today is National Men Make Dinner Day – no joke! Come on guys, this is your chance… buy your girlfriend some flowers, invite her over and cook up a romantic batch of chili. She’ll want to do the dishes, but you don’t let her, because the stainless steel stock pots clean up so easily. She stares at you in awe as you’re actually enjoying doing the dishes! As the hot, sudsy water runs down your brawny arms, her stare becomes a smoldering tempest of seduction. The fire has been ignited and what happens next can’t be spoken of here.

The 4 Piece Stainless Steel Stock Pot Set from Harbor Freight Tools, a time saver, money saver and potentially a relationship stoker! Thank you Harbor Freight!

4 Piece Stainless Steel Stock Pot Set
Sku #: 94829

Unique Item: Solar Mole Chaser

The greatest advancement in cosmetic skin care since Botox!

Forget painful laser treatments, agonizing acid peels, liquid nitrogen burns or electro-shocks.  Now you can rid yourself of unsightly moles harnessing the power of the sun! You’ll make more friends, date again and become an international model. Thank you, Solar Mole Chaser from Harbor Freight Tools! Wait a minute, sorry. Wrong Solar Mole Chaser.

Solar Mole Chaser

Let’s start again… Solar Mole Chaser – the greatest advancement in pest control since dynamite! Forget sadistic incineration, punishing poison, drowning or Machiavellian usurping. Now you can rid your garden or lawn of moles, gophers and other ground-dwelling rodents harnessing the power of the sun! The rodent repeller emits a sonic tone every 30 seconds that is abhorrent to rodents. Scientists working at an independent lab in Noank, Connecticut have discovered that the sound is equivalent to the human sound of Britneys Spears’ latest Las Vegas show. Most rodents flee out of sheer terror. Others succumb to spontaneous combustion.

A single Solar Mole Chaser covers 6,000 square feet. No electricity is needed! Thanks to its solar battery, the device remains charged so it continues working day and night. And just think, with a rodent-free garden you’ll make more friends, date again and become an international model.

Thank you, Solar Mole Chaser from Harbor Freight Tools!