OUR DARKEST HOUR DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THANKS TO THE 16 LED HAND CRANK SPOTLIGHT!

Happy New Year! Are you ready for the apocalypse?

According to Norse mythology experts, Ragnarök is predicted to take place on February 22, 2014. A great battle will take place involving Odin, Thor and the other gods, there will be catastrophic natural disasters and Robert Goulet will rise from the grave and put out another album, Armageddon to Know You! (Too soon on the Goulet joke?) Don’t let the end darken your mood—let a little light in with the 16 LED Hand Crank Spotlight from Harbor Freight Tools! This hand crank spotlight allows you to choose between bright (10 LEDs) and super-bright (16 LEDs) modes with the flip of a switch! The hand crlightank spotlight also features an automatic shut-off to prevent overcharging and can deliver up to 28 hours of illumination on a full charge.. Okay, so let’s say that Ragnarök doesn’t happen, just for the sake of discussion. The 16 LED Hand Crank Spotlight is still a great item to have at home, in your vehicle and in the shop to provide light when and where you need it! With multi-charge capacity, you can crank it up by hand, plug it into a cigarette lighter or use a 120-volt AC/DC adapter (not included) to charge it. It even has a fancy lanyard to reduce the likelihood of dropping it on your foot—as if Ragnarök isn’t bad enough…

16 LED Hand Crank Spotlight
Sku#: 96141

DON’T SETTLE FOR A WRONG-SHAPED HEATER OR WRONG-SHAPED HEAT! GO PARABOLIC!

It turns out the circle is NOT nature’s most perfect shape. Scientists at an undisclosed laboratory somewhere in Spain have determined that the parabola is nature’s most perfect shape. Turns out the circle is parabolic heaternature’s most “round” shape. According to dictionary.com, a parabola is “a plane curve formed by the intersection of a right circular cone with a plane parallel to a generator of the cone; the set of points in a plane that are equidistant from a fixed line and a fixed point in the same plane or in a parallel plane.” Think of the letter “U” and you should be able to get through  a cocktail-party conversation about the parabola. So, why is parabolic heat superior to circular heat, triangular heat or rectangular heat for that matter? Remember those scientists in Spain? Through exhaustive research, here’s a summary of their findings… Heat emanating from a circle “circulates”. Not bad but the heat gets diluted. Heat from a triangle “triangulates”. Better, but we don’t live in a three-sided world. And heat from a rectangle “rectangulates”, which is so inefficient, rectangulate isn’t even a word. Along those lines, you’d think that parabolic heat “parabolates”. Alas, no! According to that exhaustive scientific research in Spain, when a parabolic shape is created either in nature or mechanically, magic fairies materialize out of thin air and propel any surrounding heat out of the wide end of the parabola with exponential force. No such fairies appear with other shapes. Once this ground-breaking research was revealed, Harbor Freight jumped on the opportunity to provide a parabolic heater to its chill-stricken customers!

In addition to its superior shape, the 400/800 Watt Parabolic Heater features two heat settings, wide oscillating angle and adjustable tilting angle, plus a safety tip-over switch that automatically shuts off the heater if it’s turned over. Weighing in under 5 pounds, this heater is as portable as it is powerful! Don’t settle for a wrong-shaped heater or wrong-shaped heat. You deserve parabolic heat—you deserve the 400/800 Watt Parabolic Heather from Harbor Freight Tools!

400/800 Watt Parabolic Heater
Sku #: 94777

HO! HO! BACK HO!—IT’S THE TOWABLE RIDE-ON TRENCHER FROM HARBOR FREIGHT TOOLS!

Hey gang, looking for the perfect gift for that hard-to-shop-for person? Harbor Freight has it, the Towable Ride-On Trencher! It comes with a hitch coupler for hooking up the trencher to your pickup truck. Plus, it’s the perfect stocking stuffer, provided the stocking is at least 12 ft. long by 6 ft. in diameter. Now, we all know the story of Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer, but few know the song was originally taken from another song entirely which was based on a true story—Rudolf the Towable Ride-On Trencher. And it goes something like this:

 

You know hack saws and hammers, wrenches and files, power drills and punches to give leather some style, but do you recall, the greatest trencher of them all…

Towable Ride-On Trencher

Rudolf, the Towable Ride-On Trencher

Had a 2.7 GPM hydraulic pump

Also a padded comfort seat

To fit any operator’s rump

 

All of the other farmers

Used to dig their trenches by hand

They didn’t have a boom that travels 60 degrees both directions

To dig trenches across their land

 

Then one soggy growing season

The farmers came to say

Rudolf with your 12” DOT certified wheels

Dig a drainage trench and we’ll make you a deal

 

Then how the farmers loved him

As the 3-tooth bucket dug up to 7 ft. deep

The trench drained off the flooded fields

The crops were saved so they could be reaped!

 

(As a side note, the “deal” the farmers made with Rudolf was 10% profit sharing for that season, which he used to invest in annuities and lived happily ever after.)

 

Towable Ride-On Trencher

Sku#: 65162

THE RECIPROCATING SAW AND THE ISLAND OF MISFIT TOOLS

Once upon a time, just north of Easter Island there lied an archipelago that was rarely visited due to its razor sharp reefs, tumultuous currents, jagged cliffs and uneven terrain. In the center of this island chain existed an island like no other. This island had become the refuge for tools that never found a place in the hearts or tool boxes of the human race, hence its name, The Island of Misfit Tools. Inhabitants included the hammer with two claws and no head, the D clamp and the handleless wrench. These poor tools spent their days wandering around the island, reading Niche and lawn bowling but what they really desired was to be put to use by loving contractors or do-it-yourselfers. For a time, the reciprocating saw was among them. It seemed no one could figure out how to utilize a combination jigsaw/hack saw that was also portable. But then a miracle happened, the big guy in the red suit showed up—can you guess who? Yup, it was Gus the Handyman in his patent-pending crimson jump suit. Long story short but Gus had been hot air ballooning in Chile while on vacation and got caught in a storm that blew him clear across to the Island of Misfit Tools. Fortunately, the balloon was unscathed but the basket was badly damaged—fixing it was his only chance of getting back to the mainland.6 Amp Reciprocating Saw with Rotating Handle

He found trees with bamboo-like branches all over the island but no way to cut them. The double-claw hammer proved useless and the D clamp wasn’t much better. The handless wrench? Forget about it. But the reciprocating saw… ah ha! Now, at this point of the story, you’re probably wondering where he would have plugged in the reciprocating saw. As the saying goes “curiosity killed the cat” so it’s best not to expound on every little tiny detail… Where were we? Oh yeah, so, Gus used the reciprocating saw to cut the branches and repair the basket. He returned to the mainland with his new favorite tool, the reciprocating saw. Shortly thereafter, the entire archipelago sunk into the abyss due to an ancient Incan curse never to be seen again. Sometimes, on a clear night from the beaches of Antofagasta, Chili, you can hear the desperate and hopeless cries (albeit muffled by several thousand feet of sea water) of the misfit tools that never got put to use. It’s pretty disturbing…

On a happier note, everyone loves the reciprocating saw, especially the powerful 6 Amp Reciprocating Saw with Rotating Handle from Harbor Freight Tools. The handle rotates 180° with five positive stops at 0, 45° and 90° left, as well as 45° and 90° right for comfortable and controlled cutting from any angle. Features also include a pivoting shoe plate for increased stability and a rubber grip. It also has a ½” twist-lock blade chuck for fast, easy blade changes and a variable speed trigger with a switch lock-on button. The 6 Amp Reciprocating Saw with Rotating Handle has become an indispensable favorite among plumbers, electricians, contractors and DIYers. And for those of you into hot air ballooning…

 

6 Amp Reciprocating Saw with Rotating Handle
Sku#: 65570

Pocket Ref Third Edition

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. Useless fact. The conveyor belt maximum angle of loose cement is 22 degrees. Useful fact! John Lennon’s first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles. Useless fact. The normal human hearing range is between 30 and 15,000 Hertz. Useful fact! Cephalacaudal recapitulation is the reason our extremities develop faster than the rereference-bookst of us. Useless fact. The safe load for clear solid ice if you’re cross country skiing is 3 inches. Useful fact!

What’s the difference between useless facts and useful facts? Well, useless facts are useless, just like this sentence. Useful facts are useful (warning: this sentence is also useless)! Useless facts can be found all over the Internet. But a whole heapful of useful facts can be found in one place, the Pocket Ref 3rd Edition at Harbor Freight Tools (Ref stands for “reference”—another useful fact).

This book has it all—periodic tables, pipe specs, material weights and other properties, conversion tables, general science, 14-year perpetual calendar and my personal favorite, radioisotope half lives! Get one for the home, one for the toolbox, one for the glove box and one for your pocket, just make sure it’s a big pocket—the book contains over 800 pages of steaming hot reference information!

But who wants to put steaming hot anything in their pocket? Let’s try that again—the book has over 800 pages of stuff! Much better… If you’re a contractor, DIYer, mom, dad, uncle, carpenter, metallurgist, ornamental horticulturalist, mad scientist, hydraulic pressure historian or none of the above, this handy reference book is sure to become a favorite—and that’s a useful fact!

Pocket Ref Third Edition
Sku #: 35569

The Camouflage Utility Blanket, Projectile Cantaloupe and Haute Couture Fashion

utility-blanketThe 72″ x 80″ blanket is big enough to wrap around most furniture and thick enough to protect finishes. Double-stitched for durability, the blanket is ideal for moving, placing items in storage or protecting furniture during construction. Customers love this blanket though we have to admit, there have been a lot of questions about why the blankets have a camouflage design. It all started back in the early 2000’s. Fashion icon Valentino was reviewing fabrics for his spring line.

While pondering a bolt of raw silk, he was suddenly struck in the head with a cantaloupe (long story, but will suffice to say never stand within throwing distance of your personal assistant who’s on her third day of the Scaresdale diet). He was temporary rendered unconscious. While unconscious, he dreamed that he was a general in the fashion army and wore a camouflage field uniform, a.k.a. fatigues. He was meeting with his two military advisors, Giselle Bündchen and Kate Moss, to plan an all-out offensive on Michael Kors for selling out to Target. In his dream, he turned to Giselle and said “Darling, why do they call what I’m wearing fatigues?” To which she responded, “Because, darling, camouflage is so bourgeois, you feel fatigued just wearing it.” Valentino woke from his dream with two things: a nasty lump on his head from the projectile cantaloupe and the commitment to integrate camouflage into haute couture fashion.

As coincidence would have it, Valentino’s stepsister’s second cousin once removed was friends with the first cousin of the ex-wife’s niece of the woman who happened to be married to a buyer at Harbor Freight who was forced to go to a fashion show while vacationing with his wife in New York where Valentino’s new line of camouflage fashion was being revealed. On the way home from the fashion show, he too was struck by a cantaloupe (long story, but will suffice to say never stand within throwing distance of a malfunctioning mechanical orangutan at a produce stand). He woke up with two things: a nasty lump on his head from the cantaloupe and, well, you can figure out the rest… The 72″ x 80″ Camouflage Utility Blanket from Harbor Freight Tools—the perfect integration of function and fashion.

Inspect an Engine, Recover Your Keys or Discover Proof That Atlantis Existed!

It’s something you may not think you need, but once you own one, you’ll wonder how you ever got along without it! The High Resolution Digital Inspection Camera with Recorder from Harbor Freight Tools is an amazing device that enables you to view and access tight spaces that would normally be obscured or downright impossible to reach! A flexible 3 ft. longhigh rez digital inspection camera boroscope provides superior image clarity as you maneuver it around engine parts to find the source of your problem. Still can’t find the problem? Then attach the mirror accessory to the end of the scope so you can view behind objects. There’s that pesky leak in the water hose! Or maybe you dropped your keys between the stove and counter and can’t retrieve them. Secure either the hook or magnet attachment and feed the boroscope down the narrow space. There’re your keys! Now you can pull them to within reach.

Features include 5x digital zoom for precision inspection, onscreen horizontal/vertical image reversing, video-out cable for viewing images on an external monitor, USB compatibility for use with a laptop or home computer and a rechargeable lithium-ion battery. Just think of all the other applications where this High Resolution Camera with Recorder would come in handy—plumbing, electrical work, fixing appliances, archeology… you’re in an Egyptian pyramid. A sarcophagus lies in front of you. It looks sealed save for a tiny hole formed from 3000 years of corrosive bacteria. You insert the boroscope with the oil and scratch-resistant lens to probe the inside. At first, you can only see what appears to be sheets of papyrus but you probe further and find the mummified remains. The body is well-preserved and by the neck area you see what appears to be gills! Then you move toward the hands… they’re webbed! Seems like the body of an Atlantian but more investigation is needed—why would an Atlantian be buried in an Egyptian tomb? You move the scope up the torso and there’s the proof you’ve been looking for, a faded yet distinguishable name tag that reads: “Hello, I’m Steve Johnson”. According to familytree.com, Steve Johnson was a papyrus salesman from Atlantis whose territory included Mesopotamia, San Diego and Egypt! He was so successful at selling papyrus, he was revered by the Egyptians and buried as a king along with several product samples of his papyrus. That’s where the expression “Buried in paperwork” comes from… Anyway,  there’s your proof. Case closed.

 

Auto Darkening Helmet, World Kindness Day and the Chupacabra from Space!

Welding HelmetThe Auto Darkening Welding Helmet with Blue Flame Design from Harbor Freight Tools is a must-have for any serious welding job.

The solar powered welding helmet gives you a full view of your welding area with an ample 3-7/8″ x 1-5/8″ viewing lens as well as complete UV/IR protection. Plus, the auto darkening lens on this solar powered helmet darkens in 1/25,000 of a second—as soon as you begin welding.

Other features include variable shade control adjusting from #9 to #13 with a resting shade of #14, high/low light sensitivity adjustment, grind mode which transforms the helmet into a grind shield without shade flickering, and a customizable fit made possible by a ratcheting headband and padded interior.

And in light of World Kindness Day, you can use the Auto Darkening Helmet to do something nice for someone special, like your sweet, adorable yet frail grandmother. Simply wait until she’s in the middle of her afternoon nap and then don the Auto Darkening Welding Helmet with Blue Flame Design. Bust into her room and scream at the top of your lungs “I’M THE CHUPACABRA FROM SPACE! GIVE ME YOUR LIVESTOCK, PREFERABLY A GOAT, SO I MAY FEED!

Just think how delighted Grandma will be thanks to your creativity and caring! Just make sure her nitroglycerin pills are close by in case she’s overcome by your kindness…

4 Piece Stainless Steel Stock Pot Set

4 Piece Stainless Steel Stock Pot Set

If you love to cook, you’ll love the 4 Piece Stainless Steel Stock Pot Set from Harbor Freight Tools. If you hate to cook, you’ll also love the 4 Piece Stainless Steel Stock Pot Set from Harbor Freight Tools. Here’s why. Open up a cookbook and you’ll notice pages of complex ingredients, multiple steps, specialty equipment… these are called “recipes” and they can get complicated! You’d think you’d need a Ph.D. in culinary linguistics and the skills of a surgeon to prepare good food these days. But alas! A stock pot recipe looks more like this:

  1. Put stock pot over heat
  2. Add food to stock pot and cook ‘til done
  3. Take food out of stock pot and serve!

Okay, maybe that’s simplifying things a bit but stock pots really are the ideal kitchen accoutrement for cooking up a large quantities of food quickly and easily. Soups, stews, chili… oh lordy, just think of the chili you can make? And guess what, today is National Men Make Dinner Day – no joke! Come on guys, this is your chance… buy your girlfriend some flowers, invite her over and cook up a romantic batch of chili. She’ll want to do the dishes, but you don’t let her, because the stainless steel stock pots clean up so easily. She stares at you in awe as you’re actually enjoying doing the dishes! As the hot, sudsy water runs down your brawny arms, her stare becomes a smoldering tempest of seduction. The fire has been ignited and what happens next can’t be spoken of here.

The 4 Piece Stainless Steel Stock Pot Set from Harbor Freight Tools, a time saver, money saver and potentially a relationship stoker! Thank you Harbor Freight!

4 Piece Stainless Steel Stock Pot Set
Sku #: 94829

8 in. Never-Flat Generator Wheel Kit

Here’s what critics are saying about the 8 In. Never-Flat Generator Wheel Kit from Harbor Freight Tools…
8 In. Never-Flat Generator Wheel Kit

“I used to spend every night manually sucking people’s blood. But thanks to the 8 In. Never-Flat Generator Wheel Kit, my generator is now portable so I can pump people’s blood in a quarter of the time! No more neck strain or chipped canines, not to mention I have more time to spend on my real passion: Zumba.” – Dracula

“The pyramid I was entombed in flooded and after a few days, the limestone got moldy and started to smell like spoiled cottage cheese. Even though I’d been dead for 3000 years, the reek was enough to unravel me completely. The 8 In. Never-Flat Generator Wheel Kit from Harbor Freight Tools saved my bandaged butt! With portability, I was able to bring in my Predator generator, hook up my air grinder and cut a hole in the limestone to drain the stagnant water and let in a little fresh air!” — The Mummy

It would take weeks, sometimes months, for lightning to strike the lab in just the right place to provide enough power to animate the monster I pieced together using parts “found” in the cemetery. With the 8 In. Never-Flat Generator Wheel Kit from Harbor Freight Tools, now I can have power where I need it anytime! My lab could be in the breakfast nook, den or even my minivan! – Dr. Frankenstein

Eigh In. ‘ver-Flat Gentor Whee Kit Harba Fray Tools… GOOOOOOOOOOD! – Frankenstein’s monster

Featuring dual tubular steel handles, the 8 In. Never-Flat Generator Wheel Kit from Harbor Freight Tools enables you to make your generator portable! Smooth-rolling 8” dia. tires never go flat, providing quick and secure transport of your generator to your jobsite. Sturdy rubber feet provide stationary positioning once in place. The kit fits all Predator generators and is easy to install! And because it’s from Harbor Freight, you’re guaranteed monster savings!

8 in. Never-Flat Generator Wheel Kit
Sku#: 68531