THE LATEST FAD WITH TEENAGERS—SANDBLASTING!

Pressurized Abrasive BlasterIn a recent unsubstantiated report, unsupported facts reveal that the latest fad among teenagers is—sandblasting. Ginger P. from Arlee, Montana commented “I just got like so tired of planking and that video ‘What Does the Fox Say?’ I don’t think foxes really sound like that. But like whatever, who cares. What really gets me upset are people who are mean to animals and rusted metal parts. I can’t change people’s hearts when it comes to dogs and howler monkeys and stuff but I can load up the Pressurized Abrasive Blaster from Harbor Freight Tools with some sweet abrasive media and get rid of rust!”

Ginger went on to talk about how her popularity has really grown in high school since she started in with auto paint removal as well using the Pressurized Abrasive Blaster. “I was voted prom queen and I’m dating the captain of the football team. I think he’s just dating me for my Pressurized Abrasive Blaster but like who cares, he’s so cute! OMG, like the Pressurized Abrasive Blaster is the best!” When asked what made it the best, Ginger commented:

“Like the media hopper for up to 1.3 hour working time with standard media and tip.”

Like the pressurized tank that moves abrasives at 80 to 90 percent of air speed.”

Like the water trap that removes moisture to prevent clogging.

Like the nozzle end shutoff valve for safety.

And like the 6 in. rubber wheels!”

In additional to popular teens, do-it-yourselfers and contractors can all enjoy the Pressurized Abrasive Blaster when used with an air compressor (sold separately).  “LOL, like he forgot to tell you it can be used with the Blast Cabinet also sold separately! Like go to one of 500 Harbor Freight stores nationwide to get the Pressurized Abrasive Blaster and then like u and me can be BFFs!!!”

Pressurized Abrasive Blaster
Central Pneumatic – item#60696

THE FOURTH OF JULY—A TIME TO BE REFLECTIVE…

2 in. x 12 in. Red and White Reflective Strips, 10 PcJuly 4th is quickly approaching. Another birthday for America—and as we all grow older, an opportunity to be reflective, literally and figuratively. It’s a time to reflect on our potentially obstinate delusion of a patriotic milieu that engages in an overbearing hubris that identifies antidisestablishmentarianism as a floccinaucinihilipilification. How does that translate to you personally? Well, if you were a humuhumunukunukuapua’a, you’d never survive in an aequeosalinocalcalinosetaceoaluminosocupreovitriolic fish tank. Figuratively speaking of course.

Literally speaking, check out the 10-Piece, 2 in. x 12 in. Red and White Reflective Strips from Harbor Freight Tools. The and red and white reflective tape is perfect for marking mailboxes, loading docks, fences, barriers and Uncle Ed when he’s passed out in the driveway after one-too-many red, white and blue margaritas at the family 4th of July picnic. The strips feature a high visibility diamond-shaped pattern, reflective acrylic and micro-glass beads, weather resistant backing, and if that isn’t enough to warm your heart, the reflective strips comply with FMUSS 108 55.7.1 and ASTM D495-90 standards. Compare that to competitors who charge a fortune for reflective strips that aren’t even FMUSS 108 55.7.1 and ASTM D495-90able!

Literally speaking, visit one of 500 Harbor Freight Tools stores nationwide to get the 10-Piece 2 in. x 12 in. Red and White Reflective Strips at a ridiculously low price. Figuratively speaking, you are a one-winged quail of mystification.

2 in. x 12 in. Red and White Reflective Strips, 10 Pc
Item#: 97562

A GREAT INVENTION THAT ALMOST DIDN’T MAKE IT TO MARKET…

Fish FinderThough not always the most practical of people, Bernie Gillespie was a genius when it came to electronics. Growing up, his family was dirt poor and Bernie vowed to do something about it. On his 13th birthday, Bernie set out to create a great invention, one that would bring wealth and prosperity to his family for the rest of their lives. It took him years to barter and purchase any and all electronic equipment he could get his hands on—a transistor here, some wire there… He worked day and night creating diagrams, models, researching and experimenting, but to no avail. He just couldn’t come up with something that hadn’t already been invented. He was at his wit’s end. But then toward the end of the sixth year on his quest to create a great invention, he was awoken in the middle of the night by an “ah-ha” idea—it was if the light of ten-thousand candles had suddenly lit up inside his head. He got up and worked for three days non-stop—no food, no drink, no sleep and only two brief potty breaks.

He finished his invention on his 22nd birthday. His invention was magnificent, state-of-the-art, a triumph of electronic ingenuity. When he unveiled his invention, the locals were very impressed. It was an electronic marvel, the culmination of brilliance, creativity and ingenuity. Bernie Gillespie had invented the Permanent Fish Finder. The problem was Bernie Gillespie was from a family of Mongolian sheep herders who lived smack dab in the middle of the Gobi Desert. There was no bodies of water within hundreds of miles of his village, let alone fish. Being as it was “permanent”, Bernie’s fish finder was of no use to anyone, even those willing to travel hundreds of miles to the East China Sea. As I mentioned earlier, Bernie wasn’t the most practical of people.

No one bought his invention and he almost threw it in a dung heap. But alas, a buyer from Harbor Freight Tools who was ger shopping (“ger” is the Mongolian word for yurt—helpful?) came across the teary-eyed Bernie and his invention. “I just have one small tweak and I think this invention of yours could be a winner!” said the Harbor Freight buyer.

The Portable Fish Finder available at Harbor Freight Tools has a range of 0-90 ft. and a backlit screen for day or night fish viewing. The fish finder shows the fish size, as well as depth and bottom profile. Other features include floating transducer with 35 ft. cable, 45 degree sonar angle, pouch and strap.  Bring the portable fish finder on the boat or use it from a dock with amazingly accurate results. The fish finder runs on  4 AA batteries (sold separately) and also features sound alert and adjustable sensitivity. It’s quite a unique piece of electronic equipment for the casual and serious angler alike—but not quite as unique as a guy named “Bernie Gillespie” from a Mongolian sheep-herding family…

Portable Fish Finder
item#94511

INVALUABLE GARDENING TOOL? GAME OF THRONES WEAPON? BOTH?

Garden Pick PlanterWhether you’re planting a bed of petunias or vying to rule the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros, you’ll love the Garden Pick/Planter from Harbor Freight Tools. This mattock-style tiller features a pick at one end and an adze on the other. Featuring a nonslip comfort grip, the pick is great for breaking through hard soil—or the armor of Lannister bannermen. The adze is ideal for digging, cultivating or counter-striking a pike thrust.

So what if you deny wanting to rule the Seven Kingdoms? Not a problem because with the Garden Pick/Planter, you can live among the Wildlings and become the personal gardener of Mance Rayder. You’ll grow vegetables for Mance and your Freefolk clan. With your gardening skills, you’ll feed the poor, eliminating the need to scale the Wall and pillage the towns of the North. With no reason to battle, you’ll finally be at peace with the Night’s Watch. In fact, they’ll buy your vegetables. When the White Walkers come, you can offer them freshly grown butternut squash. For some reason, the White Walkers love butternut squash. And now that the White Walkers are your friends, the undead wights will be on your side as well.

As luck would have it, Mance Rayder has nut allergies and you forgot to tell him about the almonds in the Romesco sauce. With Mance out of the way, you’ll then become ruler of the Wildlings. Using the Garden Pick/Planter, you grow beautiful daffodils, which you send to Daenerys, the Mother of Dragons, as a gift. She’s so taken by your flowers that she agrees to marry you. You then become the Stepfather of Dragons. With the remaining heir of King Aerys II as your wife, her dragons, the Unsullied, Storm Crows and Second Sons on your side as well as the Wildings, White Walkers and wights, you make a direct assault on King’s Landing and by dinner time, you’re sitting on the Iron Throne ruling the Seven Kingdoms, which is really what you wanted all along but denied earlier because you didn’t want to come across as “greedy”. You’re a just and benevolent ruler so modesty be damned! You rule the known world! And all because of the Garden Pick/Planter from Harbor Freight Tools.

Garden Pick/Planter
Item#: 69793

SOMETHING YOU’LL NEVER SEE BRAD PITT WEAR…

Magnifier Head Strap With LightsLet’s face it, certain hobbies won’t exactly woo the opposite sex. You never hear about fly-fishing groupies or transistor repair hangers-on. And you never will. But that’s okay because you know who you are—you’re a hobbyist damn it and function reigns supreme! Take the Magnifier Head Strap With Lights from Harbor Freight Tools for example. This magnifier head strap fits over regular spectacles or safety glasses and features flip-up lenses that can be changed among four magnification levels: 1.8x, 2.3x, 3.7x, and 4.8x. The head strap features a vinyl headband with soft contoured padding and is adjustable for a comfortable fit. The head strap also has dual lights on both sides, with independent switches for convenience.

Practical for sure, but wearing it will make you look like Bryce and Clyde from Sixteen Candles. In other words, Brad Pitt wouldn’t be caught dead wearing one, but then again, who’d want to be Brad Pitt with his beautiful wife, successful acting career and millions of dollars in the bank? Let me rephrase that. Brad Pitt be damned! Good looks, talent and money aren’t going to magnify a poorly soldered connection on a circuit board. And at the end of the day when Death knocks on your door, if you open it wearing the Magnifier Head Strap With Lights, Death may start laughing so hard that you may be able to buy yourself some extra time. When Death comes for Brad Pitt, well…

Magnifier Head Strap With Lights
Item#38896

THE SWISS ARMY KNIFE OF CHAIRS…

As a kid, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on a Swiss Army knife. And not just any model, the one with all the tools, including the fishscaler with hook disgorger, magnifying glass and gas-powered chainsaw (no longer available on newer models). While I never ended up using the leather awl, that knife wFoldable Aluminum Sports Chairas responsible for endless adventures. Soap carving, cutting branches, hunting grizzlies, you name it and my trusty knife got me through it.

Truth be told, we never really outgrow our fascination for tools, gadgets and doohickeys. The only thing that changes with age is that we have to sit down more. Hence, the Swiss Army Knife of chairs, a.k.a. Foldable Aluminum Sports Chair from Harbor Freight Tools. The original prototype had a durable aluminum frame with extra wide seat, foldable side table, three side pocket, bottle holder AND a post hole digger, retractable canopy, storage locker with digital lock, shark cage, 212 cc gas-powered generator, backhoe, microwave oven, tanning booth, surgical forceps and private island. It was a real beauty! But the suggested retail price was $38,000,006. Even with a 20% discount, it would still come to $30,400,004.80 (without tax), not to mention the added shipping cost if you ordered online.

The paring-down process began. We kept the durable aluminum frame, folding side table, three side pockets and bottle holder. That brought the price down from $38,000,006 to under $30 dollars. By keeping a place to hold beverages, a surface for snacks and sunglasses, and pockets for magazines and newspapers, customers didn’t even care about losing the tanning booth or private island.  Convenient, lightweight and a price tag under $38,000,006—what’s not to like? Get the Foldable Aluminum Sports Chair from Harbor Freight Tool today and let the games, or picnic, or nap… begin!

Foldable Aluminum Sports Chair
item#66383

HOW THE PORTABLE SCAFFOLD SAVED A TOWN THAT CAME UP SHORT, LITERALLY…

portable scaffoldThe town of Westminsterchesterouster had a problem. The flourishing settlement was a wonderful place to live—good weather, abundant commerce and low crime. Occasionally, there was a cart jacking or suspected witchcraft but nothing being hung upside down by the toes for three days with leeches on the forehead or burning at the stake couldn’t cure. Westminsterchesterouster expanded to its very borders and there was no place to go but up. That was the problem. The buildings in the town  were really short, no more than 7 ft. high because that’s as far up as the tallest construction workers in the town could reach. The “ladder” was still centuries away from being invented. The town’s elders turned to their brightest citizen, a young visionary named Bartholomew Balsa for help. Having recently discovered Ochroma pyramidale, known as the eponymous “balsa tree”, he was tasked to come up with a solution to facilitate vertical construction indoors and out. He set to work right away. What was needed was some sort of platform but adjustable. It also needed to be portable. Yet it had to be big enough to support two to three artisans or workers at a time.

After six months and 436 sketches later, he constructed an apparatus featuring a platform with 30 adjustment points and a range from 28” to 71 1/8” in height, four locking swivel casters and built-in fittings for optional toe-boards or safety rails. The towns people were thrilled. With the “portable scaffold” as Bartholomew called it, they could reach new heights, literally, and expand the town vertically. Balsa was made honorary mayor and given precious amulets, a horse and two wives as thank you gifts. Unfortunately, his portable scaffold was made of balsa wood which could barely support a potted plant, let alone three workers with tools, mortar and other materials. The first portable scaffold lasted a total of three seconds. The Westminsterchesterousterians took back the amulets, horse and wives. Bartholomew Balsa was hung upside down by his toes for three days with leeches on his forehead, then burned at the stake. But all was not lost, thanks to Edmund Steel, another young visionary who recently discovered that when you mix iron with carbon… Using Balsa’s design, Steel constructed a portable scaffold made of steel. Everything changed after that, including the name of the town. And that’s how New York City became the thriving metropolis it is today…

The Heavy Duty Portable Scaffold from Harbor Freight Tools has all the great features of Bartholomew Balsa’s prototype but is constructed of heavy duty welded steel and holds up to 900 lbs.! Great for working inside and out, the portable scaffold is a must-have for painting, construction plus a wide range of other jobs. Comes with a 28-1/2“  x 67” wooden plank (not balsa wood). Get yours today at one of our 500 stores nationwide. The portable scaffold works like magic—and no one has to be burned at the stake because of it!

Heavy Duty Portable Scaffold
Sku#: 69055

WHEREFORE ART THOU SOLAR HOUSE ADDRESS NUMBER PLAQUE?

It’s a modern-day romantic tragedy… Romeo Finkleburger was at the county fair when he first met eyes with Juliet Sporkatelli. He was a young and successful pharmaceutical salesman. She was a Ph.D. student is ornamental horticulture and part-time bookkeeper. It was love at first ring toss (that’s where the saying comes from). Romeo won a stuffed chinchilla and gave it to Juliet. She named it “Chrysanthemum” after Saint Chrysanthus, the 3rd century martyr who was also credited with inventing the very first WeedWacker before being buried alive in a deep pit. It was a whirlwind romance. They ate funnel cakes, cotton candy and churros—then split a pack of heart-shaped antacids together. Unbeknownst to the young lovers, the Finkleburger and Sporkatelli families were bitter enemies. And then Juliet’s cousin got into a fight with Romeo’s best friend at the fair and stuck Solar House Address Number Plaquehim with the sharp end of a corndog stick. Before leaving the fair, Romeo asked Juliet for her address and vowed to pick her up at midnight so they could run away together. Juliet whole-heartedly agreed and texted Romeo her address. They kissed good-bye, their passion mingling with the sweet yet greasy slick of funnel cake residue.

The Sporkatelli’s lived a rural part of town with no streetlights. As the midnight hour approached Romeo drove down her street in his Prius with the headlights off so as not to draw attention to himself and wake Mr. and Mrs. Sporkatelli. He strained hard to see the street numbers on the houses. Juliet waited in her livingroom peaking out through the curtains waiting for Romeo to arrive. Her heart skipped a beat as she made out the faint silhouette of the approaching hybrid vehicle. From Romeo’s vantage point, he couldn’t see squat. Not being able to see the address, he drove right past Juliet’s home, then through a construction barrier and down a 100-ft. cliff into the wash. Romeo and his Prius were never seen again.

Too bad the Sporkatelli’s didn’t have the Solar House Address Number Plaque from Harbor Freight Tools! The handsome copper-finished solar address sign automatically charges in the sun then lights up super-bright LEDs all night to illuminate your house address. The solar address sign comes with numbers and spaces for a five-digit address and requires no installation or wiring. It also includes a wall bracket mount. While the Solar House Address Number Plaque may not insure that you and the love of your life will live happily ever after, it will guarantee the second greatest joy in life – not having to replace batteries while illuminating your home’s address.

COWBOYS, ALIENS AND THE NON-CONTACT INFRARED THERMOMETER WITH LASER TARGETING

Non Contact Infrared ThermometerYou might remember 1871 as the year Belgium disbanded the salt tax or the year J. Milton Turner was named minister to Liberia or the year British Columbia joined the confederation of Canada. But few remember 1871 as the year that aliens almost took over our beloved planet Earth. Turns out Cowboys and Aliens wasn’t a complete fiction after all. The tiny town of Tiny, Nevada was home to an alien landing back then. An exploration squad from the distant planet of Bureaucratia was scouting out new worlds to conquer through mediocrity, paperwork and bipartisan politics. And their plan would have worked had it not been for Gump Watson, a 21st century auto mechanic and the Non-Contact Infrared Thermometer with Laser Targeting from Harbor Freight Tools. Long story short: The End.

Long story not so short, the alien vessel crashed on a low-level ridge at the edge of town. Gump Watson, Tiny’s sheriff, went to investigate. As he approached the scene, he heard strange noises and an unfamiliar language. He peered out from his hiding place and saw several aliens trying to repair their craft. Though the aliens had the same basic appendages as humans, they were green, ugly and savage looking, like the love child of Nick Nolte and the Incredible Hulk. Gump didn’t know what to do. He had his six shooter, but he didn’t think mere bullets would penetrate their thick hides.  As luck would have it, a wormhole opened at that very moment a few feet away from Gump and out walked an auto mechanic from the future. Introductions were made and Gump explained the situation. How the mechanic got sucked into the wormhole to begin with is anybody’s guess, but it probably had something to do with the convergence of supersymmetric flipped su(5) grand unified field theory and the unexplained longevity of Tom Jones’ singing career.

The mechanic wanted to help but only had one tool with him, the Non-Contact Infrared Thermometer with Laser Targeting from Harbor Freight Tools. Sometimes it’s called a laser thermometer because you use the built-in laser to target the surface, but it’s really a non-contact infrared thermometer that measures the electromagnet radiation coming from the surface of an object. It features a single circuit chip design that prevents jamming, nonslip cushioned grip, Celsius/Fahrenheit LCD display with backlighting and can detect  temperatures ranging from -36 degrees F to 968 degrees F. Oh, almost forgot to mention, the mechanic also had a backpack filled with 14 pounds of gunpowder in it. The alien craft was smoking from the crash, but would it be hot enough to ignite the gunpowder? They couldn’t be sure… but the Non-Contact Infrared Thermometer with Laser Targeting could be. They got as close to the alien craft as they could without being seen, within a few feet of the smoking engine. The mechanic pulled the trigger and took a reading—550 degrees F, more than enough to ignite the gunpowder. Gump closed his eyes and thanked his lucky stars, which was a mistake because while his eyes were closed, the mechanic threw the backpack filled with gunpowder onto the smoking alien engine and ran like a bat out of hell. The mechanic dived into the wormhole just in time. Time, however, was not on Gump’s side—he never opened his eyes again but neither did the aliens… though some of the projectile alien DNA entered the wormhole and mysteriously deposited in Washington D.C. where it continues to proliferate to this day.

Even without the threat of extraterrestrial domination, the Non-Contact Infrared Thermometer with Laser Targeting #60725 ($37.99) from Harbor Freight Tools is incredibly useful—it’s the safest way to measure temperatures in hazardous areas like vehicle engines, other machinery or hard-to-reach places. It’s available at any one of our 500 Harbor Freight stores nationwide. And don’t be surprised if the thermometer’s ridiculously low price alienates the competition…

CAN’T STAND FATIGUE? THEN STAND ON THE 4 PIECE ANTI-FATIGUE FOAM MAT SET!

4 Piece Anti Fatigue Mat SetEvery minute of every day, over 400 children are born into this world that will potentially experience fatigue when standing up for long periods of time as adults. Here are some other facts you may not know about fatigue:

• Fatigue is the number one cause of symptoms related to fatigue.
• According to a study conducted by Timothy Leary in 1971, a group of lab rats were forced to stand for three hours straight and spontaneously combusted into multiple colors.
• Fatigue comes from the Latin word fatīgāre, which means “to tire”. People who spoke Latin tired easily.
• “Fatigue” is not in Webster’s Dictionary because Noah Webster was too fatigued to include it.
• Dolphins and howler monkeys never get fatigued.

Despite the pandemic threat of fatigue, our government continues to do nothing. But YOU don’t have to take fatigue lying down even though that’s what most people do when they experience it. Like most conditions, diseases and bad politicians who get elected, prevention is the best cure. At Harbor Freight Tools, we’re doing our part to prevent the onset of fatigue with the 4 Piece Anti-Fatigue Foam Mat Set. This set of anti-fatigue foam mats gives your aching feet a rest indoors or out. Waterproof, lightweight and easy to clean, the anti-fatigue mats lock together in multiple configurations—place in front of work tables or any area where you might be standing for extended periods of time! Plus, the ½” thick mats are impact absorbent, adding both comfort and safety to your work area. If you’re tired of fatigue, or tired from fatigue, then muster up whatever energy you have left and head on over to one of 500 Harbor Freight stores nationwide! Take a stand on fatigue by standing on the 4 Piece Anti-Fatigue Foam Mat Set from Harbor Freight Tools!

4 Piece Anti-Fatigue Foam Mat Set
Sku#: 94635