AN OLD FAVORITE FOR THE NEW HOLIDAYS

Bigfoot Panel Wagon

The holidays—such a wonderful time of the year! The only thing that rivals the happiness of the holidays are the memories of holidays past. And gifts certainly don’t hurt the rankings either way. Today, kids ask for the latest electronic gadgets: cell phones, tablets, video game consoles… but sometimes the old nostalgic favorites resonate with the new generation. Take the Bigfoot Panel Wagon (Item #: 60570) for example. My six-year-old niece wants one, badly. So, I thought I’d let her write about it. Take it away, Natalie…

Um, yeah, I, um, want the Bigfoot Panel Wagon, yeah. It’s really great and fun and I want it. I WANT IT! And if I don’t get it, I’ll tell Mommy that I heard Daddy on, um, his cell phone betting money on football games! And if Mommy, um, yeah, um doesn’t get it for me, then I’m going to tell Daddy that Mommy bought herself a new blazer from Anthropologie and it wasn’t on sale. I really want the Bigfoot Panel Wagon. It’s really neat and it’s got, um, 10-inch pneumonia tires (she meant to say pneumatic tires) and a red powder-coat finish to get rid of cists and dust (she meant to say resists rust). It’s got cool wood panels and it can go over any kind of terrain and ground and stuff and I want it. I WANT IT!

Bigfoot Panel Wagon
Item: 60570

FIRE GOOD! BUT NOT ALWAYS…

Magnesium Fire Starter

Fire was first discovered by Homo habilis around 2.3 million years ago but this tribe of early upright hominids mistook fire for a different kind of “water” and the entire race threw what they thought was going to be an awesome “pool” party—they all jumped into the bubbling volcanic crater at the same time and quickly discovered this red-orange “water” was really hot! Another 500,000 years later, Homo erectus showed up and found the bones of Homo habilis in the then cooled off crater with surprised expressions on their degraded fossilized skulls. Homo erectus looked up at the smoldering volcano close by and put two and two together—hence the first math problem was invented.

Homo erectus had had some close calls with fire themselves—once during a lunar eclipse, the alpha male Krunk drank too much fermented berry juice and ran around the camp like a wild man, which he was, during a lightning storm. Krunk was struck by a bolt of the “magic zigzag” as they called it back then. He may have survived the hit had he not been wearing a primitive tunic made from dried coconut husks coated with a sticky black substance left over from the dinosaurs, which they called “oil”. The good news was that Homo erectus learned how to cook meat that night. The bad news was that Krunk was the entrée. Incidentally, that’s where the term “Don’t drink and run around in a lightning storm wearing dried coconut husks coated with oil” originally came from.

Learning that fire was both good and bad, Homo erectus sought out ways to control it. Lightening proved too unpredictable after several members of the tribe volunteered to be lightening catchers—the successful ones being credited with the invention of “early retirement”. They also tried collecting molten lava in stone containers but the lava quickly cooled and the stone containers then became stone paperweights. Since paper would not be invented for several hundred thousand years, paperweights proved to be slightly impractical and had none of the benefits of fire.

Among Homo erectus there existed one particularly bright erecto, named Gonk. Since there were no written historical records at that time, the details start to get a little fuzzy, but through oral traditions we gather that Gonk was abducted by “big green headed dudes from the sky” (aliens) and given Fundamental Metallurgy and Geology For Dummies to read. When returned to Earth six months later, he invented the Magnesium Fire Starter (item #: 66560)  which is still available today at Harbor Freight Tools. This pocket-sized fire starter can be a lifesaver when you’re outdoors. The serrated-edge blade quickly and easily makes magnesium shavings. The full-length flint when struck with the blade generates sparks—once ignited, the shavings burn at 5400° F, ideal for even wet or windy conditions. Another plus is that in block form, the magnesium is waterproof and fire resistant.

If you’re a backpacker, camper, survivalist or hominid looking to evolve, don’t let your knuckles drag—hurry on over to one of Harbor Freight Tools’ 500+ stores and get the Magnesium Fire Starter!

Magnesium Fire Starter
item#: 66560

HAUTE COUTURE SAFETY

Reflective Safety Vest

Whether vacationing in Saint-Tropez or working on a roadside ditch, you’ll be cradled in the lap of neon luxury with the Reflective Safety Vest (item#: 94701) from Harbor Freight Tools. Fashioned with 100% buttery polyester, this safety vest boasts a loop front closure for easy donning and doffing. Throw a blazer over it and you’re ready for a charity fundraiser or yacht christening.

Integrating a sublimely horizontal twin line pattern, ANSI approved reflective strips not only provide maximum visibility but also tell the world you’re not afraid to be noticed, literally. And when the swing-shift highway work is done, your Reflective Safety Vest is ready to accompany you for the remaining part of the evening out at Le Baron in Paris—or on a shift as a security guard at a manufacturing plant.

Stand out from the rest of the crowd with the extra visibility you deserve, compliments of the Reflective Safety Vest from Harbor Freight Tools!

Look for the Reflective Safety Vest on the runway during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, February 12-19, 2015!

Reflective Safety Vest – Large
Item #: 94701

GIVE A GIFT FROM THE HEART – THE STRAP HINGE!

Strap Hinge

Most of us love the holidays but it gets increasingly challenging year after year to buy something special for the ones we love. Jewelry? So passé… Dig deep this year and don’t be afraid to let your true feelings show! That’s why you should head on over to one of Harbor Freight’s 500+ stores and get the 6″ Extra Heavy Powder-Coated Strap Hinge (item#: 65744) designed for gates, barn doors and other large doors!

This heavy duty strap hinge provides smooth motion and a 270 degree swing. With eight predrilled and countersunk mounting holes, installation is quick and easy. But can this heart-felt hinge stand up to the rigors of winter? Yes siree bobcat tail—this extra heavy strap hinge is made of sheet steel with a black powder-coated finish for added durability to withstand frequent use in nearly any environment. You don’t want your loved ones’ gates or big doors flappin’ in the wind with old rusty hinges squealing like a baby big during shiatsu massage, do ya? No way Ellie Mae, can’t feel the love that way! So give generously this holiday season and help your love ones ho ho hold their big doors in place with the 6″ Extra Heavy Powder-Coated Strap Hinge from Harbor Freight!

Disclaimer: Harbor Freight does not gift wrap, but hey, that’s what tarps and duct tape are for. Tarps and duct tape sold separately.
 

6″ Extra Heavy Powder-Coated Strap Hinge
Item #: 65744

HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER’S CONE…

Collapsible Reflective Emergency Conesorting hat

When marveling at the huge success of J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series, one can’t help but wonder if there was a little magical inspiration involved. Rowling herself has mentioned influences of Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Homer’s the Iliad and C.S. Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia, all epic literary works. But Professor Unicorn, head of improbable theory at Rex’s BBQ and Correspondence College of Abilene, Texas, submitted the following statement during an interview based on extensively researched pure speculation. “I think Rowling was inspired by Harbor Freight Tools. Take the Collapsible Reflective Emergency Cone (item #: 94111). Now, look at the cone closely. It has an uncanny resemblance to the Sorting Hat in Harry Potter! And her first book was called Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone… Stone/Cone… come on!” Shortly after the interview, Professor Unicorn went back on his medication, moved in with his sister and he’s doing just fine.

Whether Rowling was actually inspired by Harbor Freight is still up for debate but what’s certain is that the Collapsible Reflective Emergency Cone is a must-have safety item for unexpected roadside emergencies, especially with winter coming. The cone is made of durable weather resistant polyester/nylon with a polypropylene base. Since it’s collapsible, you can store several easily in the trunk of your car and have them at the ready for an emergency. For example: let’s say you get a flat tire, simply set up the cones while you change the tire—or you could just wave your wand and say TIREUS REPAIRO! Yeah, better visit on of Harbor Freight’s 500+ stores and get some of those cones…

Collapsible Reflective Emergency Cone
item#: 94111

THE NAME IS BRACEGIRDLE, STANLEY BRACEGIRDLE

Portable Household Battery Solar Charger

There were three certainties in life growing up: 1) Hidden pirate treasure was buried somewhere in the backyard; 2) When animals were alone together without humans nearby, they spoke perfect English among themselves, and 3) Any man or woman wearing a trench coat carrying an attaché was clearly a licensed-to-kill covert operative and the contents of that attaché were either top secret, highly explosive or super top secret.

However, there comes a time when we put away childish ideas… not! Sure, we don’t believe in pirate treasure per say, but it doesn’t stop us from taking a metal detector to the backyard looking for old coins. And we know animals don’t speak English among themselves, but it doesn’t stop us from speaking English to them as if they know exactly what we’re talking about. And that leaves us with the covert operative/attaché case scenario. Harbor Freight has an attaché of sorts that is a real mystery… Hint: it’s not top secret or highly explosive. And no, it’s not super top secret either. It’s the Portable Household Battery Solar Charger (item #: 68690).

Using the sun’s power, the solar battery charger fully charges AA, AAA, C, D and 9V batteries easily in daylight. The charger features LED lamps to indicate a full charge, an on/off switch to prevent overcharging or battery drain and a durable high-impact case to keep the charger protected. With its fancy attaché design, it doesn’t matter who you are, you’ll still look like a licensed-to-kill covert operative… even if you’re Stanley Bracegirdle, accounting partner at the firm Bracegirdle, Daft and Shufflebottom.

The Portable Household Battery Solar Charger is available at any one of Harbor Freight’s 500+ stores nationwide. It’s not only a practical device that will save you money over time but you’ll also become the envy of pirates, talking animals and licensed-to-kill covert operatives who spend a fortune on disposable batteries.

Portable Household Battery Solar Charger
item#: 68690

IT’S A DOG’S LIFE. WE SHOULD BE SO LUCKY.

23 In dog bed

The idiom “It’s a dog’s life” use to mean that life was hard and unpleasant. Those poor dogs. Apparently, while us Peter-Pan humans were lollygagging around living the dream, man’s best friend was miserable… who knew? Well, I certainly didn’t until I came across an academic white paper from Dr. Berry Sperry, the head of pet sociology at UC Davis. He found the personal journal of his family’s terrier Bowser. Here is a one-day entry from Bowser’s journal:

7am – woke up on cold, hard kitchen floor to the sound of coffee maker going off, hard time getting up, hip joint is really sore

7:15am – owner let me out to do my business

7:30am – chased squirrel up tree out of habit, not passion – what is the meaning of it all?

8:00 – ate dry kibble and piece of papaya dropped from family breakfast table (didn’t like papaya)

8:15am – contemplated Kierkegaard’s “Truth as Subjectivity”, no new revelations

8:45am – arrived at construction site

9:00am – 12:30pm – unloaded 50 bags of cement and dug out ditch for concrete piling

12:30pm – lunch break: ate rice cakes, low-fat cottage cheese and Diet Snapple, trying to get back to my old “service dog” weight

1:00pm – 5:30pm – busted my doggie behind putting up framing all day in the hot sun, totally worn out

6:00pm – arrived home, letter waiting for me—turned down from graduate creative writing graduate program at University of Iowa

6:30pm – ate more dry kibble, booooring!

After the last time stamp, Bowser wrote freeform…

I’m exhausted! I barely have the strength to watch an episode of Sons of Anarchy. My life is sleep, marking my territory, dry kibble, work, rinse and repeat. The horror of it all! I had dreams! I had aspirations! How can I pursue any of it when I’m working all the time and physically and emotionally spent when I’m not? Oh, this life! And to top it all off, my girlfriend’s a bitch! If I could just get a good night’s sleep, I’m sure things would start to turn around—  The rest of the entry is comprised of smudges from doggie tears.

After reading this proverbial howl for help, Dr. Sperry went down to his local Harbor Freight store and purchased the 23″ Pet Bed (item #: 66622). The 100% comfy fleece material and luxurious poly filling provide a plush rest spot for your pooch, cat, miniature wolverine or other domesticated pet. The pet bed also features a black plaid design which works with most decorative motifs. Dr. Sperry left it on the kitchen floor without saying a word. The following is Bowser’s journal entry the day after sleeping on the 23″ Pet Bed from Harbor Freight Tools:

6:30am – woke up earlier than usual and refreshed, the hip feels great!

7:15am – owner let me out to do my business

7:30am – chased squirrel up tree and had fun doing it!

8:00 – for some reason, the kibble tastes especially good today

8:15am – contemplated Kierkegaard’s “Truth as Subjectivity”, realized that since all beings process information through subjective filters, all perceived truth is “subjective”, therefore objectivity is in itself a subjective assessment

8:45am – arrived at construction site

9:00am – 12:30pm – unloaded another 50 bags of cement and dug out two more ditches for cement pilings, whistled while I worked

12:30pm – lunch break: ate rice cakes, low-fat cottage cheese and Diet Snapple… the Raspberry Diet Snapple is out of this world!

1:00pm – 5:30pm – finished framing the 1st floor of the structure, was promoted to site foreman end-of-day because of my great attitude and dogged determination

6:00pm – arrived home and found beef jerky treats by my water bowl from a “secret admirer” (suspect owner)

6:30pm – ate more dry kibble, must be a new formula, tastes great!

After the last time stamp, Bowser wrote freeform again…

It’s amazing what a good night’s sleep on the 23″ Pet Bed from Harbor Freight can do. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks! It’s a dog’s life… and I’m lovin’ it! My girlfriend’s still a bitch though.

Do the right thing for your pet and pick up the 23″ Pet Bed from any one of Harbor Freight’s 500+ stores. Your pet will thank you—though not all will express their gratitude in writing.

23″ Pet Bed
item #: 66622

SPOOKTACULAR SOLAR FRIGHT LIGHTS!

Screaming-LED-Lights

Listen up boys and ghouls, hold on to your mummies and daddies because it’s that terrifying time of the year when phantoms prowl, vampires feed and zombies get another cable TV show! It’s Halloween… AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! To celebrate this ghostly occasion, Harbor Fright has something that will scare the pants off a goblin (provided he’s wearing them)—the Solar Decorative LED Fright Lights (item: 95588)!

This 3-piece decorative light set is the perfect addition to your crabgrass lawn or graveyard! And because the lights are solar with a built-in AA NiCd battery, operation won’t cost you an arm and a leg, so you can sew those parts back onto your creation in the lab! The LED lights turn on paranormally when the sun goes down and the howling moon comes up! The lights change color from blood red to rigor-mortis green to batty blue! And the lights themselves—it’s almost too scary to mention… there’s the beastly butterfly, deathly dragonfly and the most hair-raising one of them all—the HORRIFYING HUMMINGBIRD… AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

And the good news is you won’t have to sell your soul to get them. Just visit one of Harbor Fright’s 500+ haunted stores for a price that’s gruesomely good, that won’t put your wallet six feet under, that—okay, enough wordplay…

Solar Decorative LED Lights – 3 Pc
item: 95588

Halloween Craft Ideas

The time is nigh to plunge into the dark arts of Halloween decorating. Instead of getting soaked at the local party store, though, why not dig up some low-cost tools at Harbor Freight and create your own props and beasties? Here are a few ideas we’ve summoned for your morbid curiosity.

halloween packing tape ghost

This spine-chilling ghost (which will be hanging in the trees on Halloween night) is made of packing tape and cheesecloth, and shall be haunting all doomed passersby with an eerie glow, courtesy of the Mini 2-Piece 9 LED 3-1/2″ Flashlight Set (#69065), just $2.99 at Harbor Freight.

 

Drill Master 80-piece Rotary Tool KitDrill Master 80-pc. Rotary Tool Kit #69451 – $9.99

In the spirit of thinking outside the coffin…er, box… consider using the Drill Master 80 Piece Rotary Tool Kit to carve yourself an epic jack-o-lantern! Imagine the devious works of art you could create out of squash-genus vegetables. Not just for pumpkins, though, this awesome tool is great for cutting, grinding, polishing, sharpening, engraving and drilling for all kinds of Halloween crafts and hobbies. Works on metal, wood, rock, plastic, wax… and your dog’s toenails– seriously!

pumpkin

Masterpiece, compliments of the Drill Master Rotary Tool Kit!

 

4 pc wood chisel setPittsburgh 4 Piece Wood Chisel Set #42429 – $5.99

On the other hand, if you’re more old skull… dang it!– SCHOOL… this 4-piece wood chisel set is an eeeeex-cellent alternative! If you love cutting into fresh pumpkin, inhaling the rich tangy scent and getting your hands sticky-gooey whilst scooping out the guts, this would be your poison. The wood carving set slices into the pumpkin like butter as you easily control the cutting. This heat-treated, high carbon steel set has straight bevels and PVC handles for a comfortable grip, and comes in 1″, 3/4″, 1/2″ and 1/4″ sizes.

pumpkin carving

 

hot knifeChicago Electric 130-Watt Heavy Duty Hot Knife #60313 – $16.99

Plunge, slice and dismember styrofoam and more to make spooky props with this crafter’s favorite– the 130 Watt Hot Knife! Harbor Freight’s heavy-duty hot knife will make quick business out of cleanly cutting foam and plastic materials. It’s got a depth-adjusting sled for more control and a safety auto-off feature. Perfect for creating tombstones and carving faux pumpkins!

pumpkin king

Carve the Pumpkin King with your hot knife!

 

hobby woodburner

30 Watt 5-in-1 Hobby Woodburner

This woodburner is the ideal tool for the Halloween craftsman who’s soldering, working with Styrofoam, cutting stencils or burning designs into wood or leather. It comes with multiple tips for soldering and all sorts of hot cutting, all in a convenient carrying case. This quality soldering tool can contribute to almost every hobby and craft!

tombstone

Click Here for a DIY Tombstone Project!

 

propane torch

The Harbor Freight Propane Torch #91033 – $19.99

While this would have been an excellent tool for burning witches back in the day, we’ve got a whole different (and perhaps a slightly more PC) idea for Halloween: “aging” wood props! If you’re planning on having a casket or two lying around the yard, a rotting cemetery fence or some other “old” wood display, this propane torch is great for getting the right look. Here’s a customer video on how it works:

 

mini led lightHarbor Freight Tools 3-1/2″ 9 LED Mini Flashlight #69111 – $1.99

Since you’ll already be haunting your local Harbor Freight, don’t leave without grabbing a few extra omini LED lights. These suckers are perfect for the little monsters to carry while trick-or-treating, and for using to showcase tombstones, limbs, nooses and ghosties back at the castle! The mini light features a knurled barrel for quality grip and an easy push-button on/off switch to illuminate the dark passages. A convenient tool for any tomb or keep one in the hearse’s glove box.

Make Harbor Freight one of your favorite haunts this Halloween! If you don’t carve your pumpkin with a low-priced Harbor Freight tool, you’re out of your gourd!

YOU-KNOW-WHAT HAPPENS

50 Ft. Compact Electric Drain CleanerWe all know the adage “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Well, sometimes life gives you something that you can’t turn into a proverbial refreshing beverage. There’s another adage for those things, “You-know-what happens,” and when we’re talking about the literal “you-know-what”, then you really just need to break it up and flush it out—and the sooner the better! Which brings us to the you-know-what breaker upper and flusher outer extraordinaire, the 50 Ft. Compact Electric Drain Cleaner (item #: 68285) from Harbor Freight Tools.

This powerful tool quickly clears clogs up to 50 ft. from the cleanout with its motorized electric drain snake. If you’ve ever used a manual one of these, then you know how much work it can be! Not so with this baby. The power-feed electric drain cleaner has automatic feed control for easy navigation of multiple bends. Plus, the ½” x 50 ft. wire core cable resists breakage, tangling and kinking.

Other features included a sealed air-activated foot switch, ground fault circuit interrupter for safe operation, quick-change enclosed drum and a durable steel frame. The 50 Ft. Compact Electric Drain Cleaner can handle pipes from 1 in. ID to 4 in. ID. Wow, up to 4 in. ID pipe? That’s a lot of you-know-what blocking up that bad boy!

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But when life give you a clogged pipe filled with you-know-what among other things, then visit one of Harbor Freight’s 500 stores nationwide and pick up the 50 Ft. Compact Electric Drain Cleaner!

50 Ft. Compact Electric Drain Cleaner
item#: 68285