The Camouflage Utility Blanket, Projectile Cantaloupe and Haute Couture Fashion

utility-blanketThe 72″ x 80″ blanket is big enough to wrap around most furniture and thick enough to protect finishes. Double-stitched for durability, the blanket is ideal for moving, placing items in storage or protecting furniture during construction. Customers love this blanket though we have to admit, there have been a lot of questions about why the blankets have a camouflage design. It all started back in the early 2000’s. Fashion icon Valentino was reviewing fabrics for his spring line.

While pondering a bolt of raw silk, he was suddenly struck in the head with a cantaloupe (long story, but will suffice to say never stand within throwing distance of your personal assistant who’s on her third day of the Scaresdale diet). He was temporary rendered unconscious. While unconscious, he dreamed that he was a general in the fashion army and wore a camouflage field uniform, a.k.a. fatigues. He was meeting with his two military advisors, Giselle Bündchen and Kate Moss, to plan an all-out offensive on Michael Kors for selling out to Target. In his dream, he turned to Giselle and said “Darling, why do they call what I’m wearing fatigues?” To which she responded, “Because, darling, camouflage is so bourgeois, you feel fatigued just wearing it.” Valentino woke from his dream with two things: a nasty lump on his head from the projectile cantaloupe and the commitment to integrate camouflage into haute couture fashion.

As coincidence would have it, Valentino’s stepsister’s second cousin once removed was friends with the first cousin of the ex-wife’s niece of the woman who happened to be married to a buyer at Harbor Freight who was forced to go to a fashion show while vacationing with his wife in New York where Valentino’s new line of camouflage fashion was being revealed. On the way home from the fashion show, he too was struck by a cantaloupe (long story, but will suffice to say never stand within throwing distance of a malfunctioning mechanical orangutan at a produce stand). He woke up with two things: a nasty lump on his head from the cantaloupe and, well, you can figure out the rest… The 72″ x 80″ Camouflage Utility Blanket from Harbor Freight Tools—the perfect integration of function and fashion.

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