REMOVE WHEEL BEARINGS, MAKE APPLE CIDER, BUT NOT AT THE SAME TIME…

20 Ton Shop Press“Who needs a 20 Ton Shop Press?” questioned Artie Snarduckerus while perusing the aisles of his local Harbor Freight Tool store. That’s when the call came.

His wife was in a panic. Edna Snarduckerus, who was an automotive psychic, had a premonition that the front wheel bearings on her Mustang would need replacing within the next three hours or else an asteroid the size of Canada would collide with Neptune which would throw off the gravitational pull of  the other planets in our solar system which would in turn lead to the annihilation of earth and extinction of the human race. She wasn’t quite sure how that chain of events laid out but she knew better than to question a premonition based on total random chance that may not have any vestige of truth in it.

Coincidentally, Edna’s father was coming for an afternoon visit to discuss his will and Edna’s future inheritance. Her father was a stern and difficult man—he could be generous one minute and disown you the next. Edna loved her father more than his money—but the money came a close second. She remembered how much her father enjoyed fresh pressed apple cider and Artie has just picked a bushel of apples from their backyard trees. She surmised that a little cider may go a long way to secure her and Artie’s financial future.

To ward off human extinction and sweeten his father-in-law’s mood, Artie purchased the 20 Ton Shop Press, item #32879. He got it home and assembled the shop press lickety-split. His father-in-law was due to arrive within the hour. He wouldn’t have time to remove and replace the bearings and make cider… unless he did it at the same time. He set up racks with the mashed up apple wrapped in cloth on top of each other, then put ply board on top of that, then put the wheel bearing on top of that and went to work.

Despite the rush he was in, Artie couldn’t help but notice how the H-frame shop press had open side heavy duty construction to enable work on long work pieces, not to mention the adjustable table to establish the best working distance possible and how the spring return ram speeds up work. He thought about all the things he could use the 20 Ton Shop Press for—removal of pressure fitted parts, bending or straightening metal, removing and installing gears, U-joints, ball joints and pulleys… and yes, making even more apple cider.

Long story short, Artie finished up the wheel bearings and the apple cider 3 hours and five minutes after Edna’s call. He was five minutes past his wife’s premonition timeframe but he figured the universe would cut him some slack considering traffic.

As it turned out, grease from the bearings got into the apple cider which really cheesed off Edna’s father. He left them nothing in his will—which turned out to be fine because the universe decided not to cut Artie any slack and the world ended as we know it. Did I mention this all happened in a parallel universe? No?

Anyway, it won’t be the end of the world if you don’t visit one of Harbor Freight’s 500 stores and purchase the reliable 20 Ton Shop Press. But do you really want to take that chance? Think about it over a nice glass of freshly-squeezed apple cider.

20 Ton Shop Press
item#: 32879

TOP 10 MUST-HAVE COSPLAY TOOLS/ACCESSORIES FROM HARBOR FREIGHT TOOLS

When you think of cosplay, you may think of places like Comic-Con, E3 or Anime Expo, but you probably don’t think of Harbor Freight Tools. If you’re into making your own cosplay costumes, Harbor Freight Tools should be your first destination. Harbor Freight Tools is your one-stop tool shop for creating your cosplay attire, accoutrements and weapons. While cosplayers are willing to invest ample time and money into their passion, saving money is still a big plus! Harbor Freight Tools is known for “quality tools at ridiculously low prices.” Following is a list of the Top Ten Must-Have Cosplay Tools/Accessories from Harbor Freight Tools. All of these items are available at any one of their 500 stores nationwide or through harborfreight.com. (Note: prior to using any tool or material, please make sure to utilize all necessary safety precautions and safety equipment.)

10.

Heat Gun

Heat guns are a must when working with materials like foam, Sintra, Wonderflex and Worbla. A heat gun provides controlled heat so you can form and shape materials to your costume’s specifications.


(FOA Cosplay made this amazing World of Warcraft Paladin with Sintra)

 

Harbor Freight sells several different heat guns within a modest price range. Plus, there’s a nifty accessory kit to expand the functionality of your heat gun.

1500 Watt Dual Temperature Heat Gun (572°/1112°) item #: 96289

 

heat gun

430°-800° /570°-1160° Interval Heat Gun with LED Temperature Settings item #: 69343

 

1600 Watt Heavy Duty Dual Temperature Heat Gun

1600 Watt Heavy Duty Dual Temperature Heat Gun (1000°/1100°) item #: 69342

Heat Gun Accessory Kit 9 Pc

Heat Gun Accessory Kit 9 Pc item #: 68695

 

 9.

Glue Gun

A glue gun is mandatory for costume construction. In many cases, a glue gun is the best way to bind materials, like EVA foam.

pacific-rim-gipsy-danger-cosplay-by-nona-neon-2-620x856

(Cosplayer Nona Neon used EVA foam to make this incredible Pacific Rim Gypsie Danger costume)

 

Harbor Freight sells three glue guns along with the glue cartridges sold separately.

 

Professional Industrial Glue Gun

Professional/Industrial Glue Gun item #95939

 

High Temperature Full Size Glue Gun

High Temperature Full Size Glue Gun item 68334

 

High Temperature Mini Glue Gun

High Temperature Mini Glue Gun item #: 68337

50 Piece MultiTemp Full Size Glue Sticks

50 Piece MultiTemp® Full Size Glue Sticks item #: 68336

50 Piece MultiTemp Mini Glue Sticks

50 Piece MultiTemp® Mini Glue Sticks item #: 68329

 

8.

Woodburner

As the name implies, a woodburner is an excellent way to add detailed ornamentation to wood pieces. However, it’s also used as a detailing tool for other materials such as foam.

Woosburning

(The middle details on this wood sword are 2mm foam detailed with a woodburner)

 

Harbor Freight offers a woodburner that’s ideal for soldering jobs, working with Styrofoam, cutting stencils or burning designs into wood or leather.

woodburner

30 Watt 5-In-1 Hobby Woodburner item #: 38593

 

7.

Orbital Sander

Whether you’re evening out the surface of a large shield or smoothing out filler on a mask, an orbital sander will quickly become your new best friend. The time saved compared to hand sanding is priceless let alone the fatigue you’ll avoid trying to generate up to 12,000 OPM (Oscillations Per Minute) on your own (I’m good for 60 OPM myself…)

Mirror_shield_4

(An orbital sander was used several times during the construction of the Mirror Shield from Zelda: Ocarina of Time)

 

Mirror_shield_33

(The finished shield)

 

Harbor Freight carries several types of orbital sanders, including a wet orbital sander. You’ll also find sanding discs in a variety of grits for rough work, finishing work or something in between. Check out their complete selection of orbital sanders and sanding pads.

 

6.

Epoxy

Bonding materials is a given when it comes to making your own cosplay costumes. You’ll need to have one or more epoxies on hand and ready to go. Sometimes you need to bond materials quickly. Other times, you need some wiggle room—time to line up or adjust the materials perfectly before the bond sets in. Harbor Freight offers several different types of epoxies, including:

0.2 Oz. Single Use Quick Setting Epoxy Adhesive item #: 96031

0.2 Oz. Single Use Delayed Setting Epoxy Adhesive item #: 96033

 

5.

Hobby Knife

The hobby knife is simply indispensable for the cosplay costumer maker, especially if you use the pepakura method to build your costumes. It’s also used to cut intricate stencils, EVA foam, you name it…

Harbor Freight sells a 33-piece deluxe hobby knife set that comes with 26 assorted blades, 2 standard blade holders and an ergonomic blade handle. The set also includes scratch awl blades, caliper, jeweler’s precision screwdriver, tweezers and a bonus pen-type precision screwdriver with six bits. It comes in a well-organized case so you’ll have quick and easy access to the blade you need for cutting, carving and crafting.

hobby knife

33 Piece Deluxe Hobby Knife Set item #: 96551

 

4.

Spray Gun

For detail paint work, look no further than the 4 oz. Adjustable Detail Spray Gun from Harbor Freight Tools! The paint sprays from a standard circle pattern to a pinpoint fan for more accurate and efficient coverage. A spray gun can also be used to apply coats of wood glue to seal EVA foam for making armor and other accessories to your costume. Check out this video on how to do it!

FireShot Screen Capture #080 - 'How to Seal EVA Foam Quickly Using a Paint Spray Gun - YouTube' - www_youtube_com_watch_v=aJ6y1O5qTUQ

(Fan video – using the 4 Oz. Adjustable Detail Spray Gun to coat EVA armor)

 

4 oz spray gun

4 oz. Adjustable Detail Spray Gun item 92126

 

Note: a compressor is needed to run the spray gun. Harbor Freight carries an inexpensive line of compressors and compressor accessories as well.

 

3.

Nitrile Gloves

Before your cosplay costume is a site to behold, there’s a whole lot of mess leading up to it! Paints, epoxies… it’s veritable chemical warfare on your hands! In addition to masks, safety goggles and the like, all available through Harbor Freight, you should have several packs of nitrile gloves on hand. The form fitting gloves provide plenty of dexterity while providing superior chemical resistance. Harbor Freight offers thicknesses ranging from 3mm to 9mm in medium, large and extra-large sizes.

nitrile gloves

Check out Harbor Freight’s full selection of nitrile gloves!

 

2.

Safety Goggles/Face Shields

You’ll be cutting, sawing, sanding… and Zeus-knows-what-else to get your costume convention ready. Just remember, it’s all fun and cosplay until someone loses an eye! Make mom proud and put safety first! Safety goggles and face shields are absolute necessities to keep your eyes and face protected while you focus on the task at hand. Harbor Freight has numerous eye safety options from which to choose.

 

1.

Rotary Tool

If Jerry Maquire were into cosplay, he would look at the rotary tool and say “You complete me.” Cutting, buffing, boring, sanding, engraving—more than a dozen jobs can be performed with just this one tool!


(Harrison Krix and Bill Doran create the hammered metal look with a rotary tool)

 

Harbor Freight offers plug-in and cordless rotary tool options. And in case you’re worried you won’t find enough uses for your new rotary tool, then check out the 249 Piece Rotary Tool Accessory Set which includes 67 cut-off wheels, 60 sanding wheels, 12 grinding wheels, 5 fiberglass reinforced cutting discs, 18 aluminum oxide grinding stones, 7 diamond burrs, 3 cutter burrs, 6 drill bits, 6 wheel brushes… the list goes on!

That’s the Top Ten list, but we’re really just scratching the surface. From duct tape to drill presses, batteries to shop vacs and hand tools to workbenches, Harbor Freight has what you need to fortify your cosplay costume making workshop or build one from scratch while saving a ton money in the process!

CUTS LUMBER LIKE A DREAM, BUT NOT THE DREAM WITH THE TALKING POSSUM…

You ever have that dream where you’re in a forest wearing a trench coat and bunny slippers and there’s a talking possum who tells you, “You can’t stay here, the red wind is coming” and then you’re transported to the Chicago World’s Fair in 1893 and when you go to buy peanuts the peanut vendor is actually that same talking possum who tells you, “You can’t stay here, the red wind is coming” and then you fall backwards screaming only instead of sound coming out, the colors of the rainbow stream out of your mouth and you’re completely paralyzed and then a crowd of people, the possum and a unicorn gather around you and start chanting “You can’t stay here, the red wind is coming, you can’t stay here, the red wind is coming”… and then you wake up. I hate that dream. But I love the reality of the Portable Saw Mill with 280cc Gas Engine (item #: 61712) from Harbor Freight Tools!

Portable Saw Mill

The Portable Saw Mill can handle logs and flat stock up to 20” in diameter and width respectively. You can go up to 4-1/2 in. with the cutting thickness and accommodate stock up to 9 ft, 2 in. in length. The blade speed generates up to 3279 FPM – thought it would take forever to build that log cabin from scratch? Think again! The Portable Saw Mill is designed to operate on regular unleaded gasoline—no more fancy smancy special-order portable saw mill gas necessary! To get your Portable Saw Mill, get going to one of 500 Harbor Freight stores no because you can’t stay here, the red wind is coming!

Portable Saw Mill with 280cc Gas Engine
item# 61712

VACUUM STORAGE BAGS AND THE END OF THE PUFFY CLOTHES CRISIS

Vacuum Storage BagIn 1999, the United States government, using precious tax dollars, conducted an 8-year, $330 million dollar study to find out why clothes got puffy with age. The results were truly remarkable – while fibers do breakdown as clothes get washed and worn thus loosening the weave and causing some increase in volume, the real reason why clothes take up so much more space in our closets and drawers over time is because as we get older, the time spent carefully folding and ironing clothes is inversely proportionate to the time spent consuming strawberry margaritas. When the results were published, the public clamored for a solution to the Puffy Clothes Crisis. The obvious answer of switching to regular or peach margaritas had no effect.

The situation was hopeless… hopeless that is until a bartender named Horatio Fanglehorn from El Duende, New Mexico, had an idea. Fanglehorn noticed that pimento olives kept longer than regular pitted olives. As fate would endow, one of Fanglehorn’s regular customers at the Rusty Catfish Bar & Postal Annex happened to be a food deterioration specialist who surmised that the pitted olive had more surface area in contact with air, hence, deteriorated quicker than the pimento olive which had less surface area exposed to air due to a big ol’ pimento stuffed into it (note: “big ol’” is the scientific term for large).

At home, Fanglehorn’s closets were overflowing with puffy clothes. One fine Sunday afternoon while cleaning out the master-bedroom closet, his wife commented “This sucks!” That’s when Fanglehorn had his “aha” moment – suck out the air! Not only will clothes be preserved but more importantly sucking out the air would condense their volume, thus creating more space. Flash forward to Harbor Freight Tools and the Set of Three Vacuum Storage Bags made from durable polyethylene and nylon. The Vacuum Storage Bags are reusable, airtight and watertight. Plus, they’re transparent so you can view the contents, making sure your three-year-old didn’t vacuum seal last night’s leftover lasagna while you fell asleep watching reruns of Breaking Bad. The set includes one large and two medium bags as well as a bonus roll-up compression bag. Pack clothing, blankets or camping gear in the Vacuum Storage Bags then use your vacuum cleaner to remove the air from inside. No pimentos needed!

Thanks to Horatio Fanglehorn and Harbor Freight Tools, you can visit any one of our 500 stores and put an end to the Puffy Clothes Crisis once and for all…

Vacuum Storage Bags, Set of Three
item#95613

YOUR PERMANENTLY ATTACHED GARAGE NIGHTMARE IS OVER!

Portable Garage

Tired of garages permanently attached to your house or other dwelling? Fatigued by having to park your car, truck or motorcycle in the same place day after day? Worried that if you don’t park your vehicle in a fixed and firm garage, it will be subject to harsh weather, grueling sunlight and paint-ruining bat guano? Now, thanks to the seller of the Portable Fish Finder, Portable Scaffolding and Portable Wet Cutting Tile Saw comes a revolutionary product that makes protecting your vehicle portarrific! Check out the 10 ft. x 17 ft. Portable Garage (#69039) by Harbor Freight Tools!

This portable garage protects your vehicle in all kinds of weather with a drum-tight cover and door panel. The best-in-class cover attachment keeps the portable garage cover secure during heavy rains or wind. Featuring a stabilized 1.27″ dia. all-steel frame with a weather resistant enamel finish, 15″ auger anchors for dirt or asphalt and heavy duty webbed straps with ratchet-action tensioning to keep the cover tight and secure, this portable garage provides unparalleled protection to your vehicle. The cover material itself is made from a mysterious polymer found in outer space during a secret military mission to Venus. It’s weather-resistant, UV treated and when wrapped around your head, can protect you from the ill effects of gamma radiation and Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

Ready to get your 10 ft. x 17 ft. Portable Garage today? Wait, there’s more! Buy one 10 ft. x 17 ft. Portable Garage in the next ten minutes and we’ll sell you another 10 ft. x 17 ft. Portable Garage for the exact same price as the first one! That’s two 10 ft. x 17 ft. Portable Garages for one combined ridiculously low price! But hold onto your socks because if you buy two 10 ft. x 17 ft. Portable Garages in the next 2 minutes and fifteen seconds, we’ll throw in the Portable Tire Changer for 20% off! (Disclaimer: 20% coupon must be provided at time of purchase and can only be used for the Portable Tire Changer; the earlier claim that the 10 ft. x 17 ft. Portable Garage cover material can protect one against the ill effects of Keeping Up with the Kardashians was solely used for advertising hype and is actually false – there is nothing on the planet nor anywhere in the known universe that can protect you from the Kardashians.)

Sounds too true to be good… I mean too good to be true? Visit one of our 500 stores nationwide and discover that portable is more than affordable at Harbor Freight!

10 ft. x 17 ft. Portable Garage
item#69039

OBD II & CAN Code Reader with Multilingual Menu

image_12018

THE POTENTIAL-PROBLEM-UNDER-THE-HOOD TRANSLATOR
LE TRADUCTEURPOTENTIEL-PROBLÈME-SOUS-LE-HOOD
ELTRADUCTOR POTENCIAL SIN PROBLEMAS EN RÉGIMEN DE-LA-HOOD

If cars could talk, you’d still need an interpreter to figure out their problems. That’s where the OBD II & CAN Code Reader with Multilingual Menu (item #: 98568) from Harbor Freight Tools comes in. While it looks like a combination smart phone/digital deep fryer thermometer, the Code Reader is a technical marvel.  The CAN OBDII Code Reader reads your car’s computer to find out what the problems are when the “CHECK ENGINE” light comes on. And speaking of interpreters, you can get the information about the detected malfunction in English, French or Spanish. But what if you speak English and drive a French car down to Mexico and the check engine light comes on? You’re covered. But if you’re German and drive a Japanese car down to India and the check engine light comes on, you may be in trouble, unless of course you speak English, French or Spanish.

The point is you could save some serious euros, yen or renminbi by diagnosing auto issues yourself! You’ll even save a pretty pula on extra batteries because the OBD II & CAN Code Reader with Multilingual Menu doesn’t need them – it’s powered by your vehicle’s battery. To get your OBD II & CAN Code Reader with Multilingual Menu, visit any one of Harbor Freight’s 500 stores. There’s probably one nearby because it’s a small world after all…

OBD II & CAN Code Reader with Multilingual Menu
item#: 98568

THE LATEST FAD WITH TEENAGERS—SANDBLASTING!

Pressurized Abrasive BlasterIn a recent unsubstantiated report, unsupported facts reveal that the latest fad among teenagers is—sandblasting. Ginger P. from Arlee, Montana commented “I just got like so tired of planking and that video ‘What Does the Fox Say?’ I don’t think foxes really sound like that. But like whatever, who cares. What really gets me upset are people who are mean to animals and rusted metal parts. I can’t change people’s hearts when it comes to dogs and howler monkeys and stuff but I can load up the Pressurized Abrasive Blaster from Harbor Freight Tools with some sweet abrasive media and get rid of rust!”

Ginger went on to talk about how her popularity has really grown in high school since she started in with auto paint removal as well using the Pressurized Abrasive Blaster. “I was voted prom queen and I’m dating the captain of the football team. I think he’s just dating me for my Pressurized Abrasive Blaster but like who cares, he’s so cute! OMG, like the Pressurized Abrasive Blaster is the best!” When asked what made it the best, Ginger commented:

“Like the media hopper for up to 1.3 hour working time with standard media and tip.”

Like the pressurized tank that moves abrasives at 80 to 90 percent of air speed.”

Like the water trap that removes moisture to prevent clogging.

Like the nozzle end shutoff valve for safety.

And like the 6 in. rubber wheels!”

In additional to popular teens, do-it-yourselfers and contractors can all enjoy the Pressurized Abrasive Blaster when used with an air compressor (sold separately).  “LOL, like he forgot to tell you it can be used with the Blast Cabinet also sold separately! Like go to one of 500 Harbor Freight stores nationwide to get the Pressurized Abrasive Blaster and then like u and me can be BFFs!!!”

Pressurized Abrasive Blaster
Central Pneumatic – item#60696

THE FOURTH OF JULY—A TIME TO BE REFLECTIVE…

2 in. x 12 in. Red and White Reflective Strips, 10 PcJuly 4th is quickly approaching. Another birthday for America—and as we all grow older, an opportunity to be reflective, literally and figuratively. It’s a time to reflect on our potentially obstinate delusion of a patriotic milieu that engages in an overbearing hubris that identifies antidisestablishmentarianism as a floccinaucinihilipilification. How does that translate to you personally? Well, if you were a humuhumunukunukuapua’a, you’d never survive in an aequeosalinocalcalinosetaceoaluminosocupreovitriolic fish tank. Figuratively speaking of course.

Literally speaking, check out the 10-Piece, 2 in. x 12 in. Red and White Reflective Strips from Harbor Freight Tools. The and red and white reflective tape is perfect for marking mailboxes, loading docks, fences, barriers and Uncle Ed when he’s passed out in the driveway after one-too-many red, white and blue margaritas at the family 4th of July picnic. The strips feature a high visibility diamond-shaped pattern, reflective acrylic and micro-glass beads, weather resistant backing, and if that isn’t enough to warm your heart, the reflective strips comply with FMUSS 108 55.7.1 and ASTM D495-90 standards. Compare that to competitors who charge a fortune for reflective strips that aren’t even FMUSS 108 55.7.1 and ASTM D495-90able!

Literally speaking, visit one of 500 Harbor Freight Tools stores nationwide to get the 10-Piece 2 in. x 12 in. Red and White Reflective Strips at a ridiculously low price. Figuratively speaking, you are a one-winged quail of mystification.

2 in. x 12 in. Red and White Reflective Strips, 10 Pc
Item#: 97562

A GREAT INVENTION THAT ALMOST DIDN’T MAKE IT TO MARKET…

Fish FinderThough not always the most practical of people, Bernie Gillespie was a genius when it came to electronics. Growing up, his family was dirt poor and Bernie vowed to do something about it. On his 13th birthday, Bernie set out to create a great invention, one that would bring wealth and prosperity to his family for the rest of their lives. It took him years to barter and purchase any and all electronic equipment he could get his hands on—a transistor here, some wire there… He worked day and night creating diagrams, models, researching and experimenting, but to no avail. He just couldn’t come up with something that hadn’t already been invented. He was at his wit’s end. But then toward the end of the sixth year on his quest to create a great invention, he was awoken in the middle of the night by an “ah-ha” idea—it was if the light of ten-thousand candles had suddenly lit up inside his head. He got up and worked for three days non-stop—no food, no drink, no sleep and only two brief potty breaks.

He finished his invention on his 22nd birthday. His invention was magnificent, state-of-the-art, a triumph of electronic ingenuity. When he unveiled his invention, the locals were very impressed. It was an electronic marvel, the culmination of brilliance, creativity and ingenuity. Bernie Gillespie had invented the Permanent Fish Finder. The problem was Bernie Gillespie was from a family of Mongolian sheep herders who lived smack dab in the middle of the Gobi Desert. There was no bodies of water within hundreds of miles of his village, let alone fish. Being as it was “permanent”, Bernie’s fish finder was of no use to anyone, even those willing to travel hundreds of miles to the East China Sea. As I mentioned earlier, Bernie wasn’t the most practical of people.

No one bought his invention and he almost threw it in a dung heap. But alas, a buyer from Harbor Freight Tools who was ger shopping (“ger” is the Mongolian word for yurt—helpful?) came across the teary-eyed Bernie and his invention. “I just have one small tweak and I think this invention of yours could be a winner!” said the Harbor Freight buyer.

The Portable Fish Finder available at Harbor Freight Tools has a range of 0-90 ft. and a backlit screen for day or night fish viewing. The fish finder shows the fish size, as well as depth and bottom profile. Other features include floating transducer with 35 ft. cable, 45 degree sonar angle, pouch and strap.  Bring the portable fish finder on the boat or use it from a dock with amazingly accurate results. The fish finder runs on  4 AA batteries (sold separately) and also features sound alert and adjustable sensitivity. It’s quite a unique piece of electronic equipment for the casual and serious angler alike—but not quite as unique as a guy named “Bernie Gillespie” from a Mongolian sheep-herding family…

Portable Fish Finder
item#94511

INVALUABLE GARDENING TOOL? GAME OF THRONES WEAPON? BOTH?

Garden Pick PlanterWhether you’re planting a bed of petunias or vying to rule the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros, you’ll love the Garden Pick/Planter from Harbor Freight Tools. This mattock-style tiller features a pick at one end and an adze on the other. Featuring a nonslip comfort grip, the pick is great for breaking through hard soil—or the armor of Lannister bannermen. The adze is ideal for digging, cultivating or counter-striking a pike thrust.

So what if you deny wanting to rule the Seven Kingdoms? Not a problem because with the Garden Pick/Planter, you can live among the Wildlings and become the personal gardener of Mance Rayder. You’ll grow vegetables for Mance and your Freefolk clan. With your gardening skills, you’ll feed the poor, eliminating the need to scale the Wall and pillage the towns of the North. With no reason to battle, you’ll finally be at peace with the Night’s Watch. In fact, they’ll buy your vegetables. When the White Walkers come, you can offer them freshly grown butternut squash. For some reason, the White Walkers love butternut squash. And now that the White Walkers are your friends, the undead wights will be on your side as well.

As luck would have it, Mance Rayder has nut allergies and you forgot to tell him about the almonds in the Romesco sauce. With Mance out of the way, you’ll then become ruler of the Wildlings. Using the Garden Pick/Planter, you grow beautiful daffodils, which you send to Daenerys, the Mother of Dragons, as a gift. She’s so taken by your flowers that she agrees to marry you. You then become the Stepfather of Dragons. With the remaining heir of King Aerys II as your wife, her dragons, the Unsullied, Storm Crows and Second Sons on your side as well as the Wildings, White Walkers and wights, you make a direct assault on King’s Landing and by dinner time, you’re sitting on the Iron Throne ruling the Seven Kingdoms, which is really what you wanted all along but denied earlier because you didn’t want to come across as “greedy”. You’re a just and benevolent ruler so modesty be damned! You rule the known world! And all because of the Garden Pick/Planter from Harbor Freight Tools.

Garden Pick/Planter
Item#: 69793