In 1999, the United States government, using precious tax dollars, conducted an 8-year, $330 million dollar study to find out why clothes got puffy with age. The results were truly remarkable – while fibers do breakdown as clothes get washed and worn thus loosening the weave and causing some increase in volume, the real reason why clothes take up so much more space in our closets and drawers over time is because as we get older, the time spent carefully folding and ironing clothes is inversely proportionate to the time spent consuming strawberry margaritas. When the results were published, the public clamored for a solution to the Puffy Clothes Crisis. The obvious answer of switching to regular or peach margaritas had no effect.
The situation was hopeless… hopeless that is until a bartender named Horatio Fanglehorn from El Duende, New Mexico, had an idea. Fanglehorn noticed that pimento olives kept longer than regular pitted olives. As fate would endow, one of Fanglehorn’s regular customers at the Rusty Catfish Bar & Postal Annex happened to be a food deterioration specialist who surmised that the pitted olive had more surface area in contact with air, hence, deteriorated quicker than the pimento olive which had less surface area exposed to air due to a big ol’ pimento stuffed into it (note: “big ol’” is the scientific term for large).
At home, Fanglehorn’s closets were overflowing with puffy clothes. One fine Sunday afternoon while cleaning out the master-bedroom closet, his wife commented “This sucks!” That’s when Fanglehorn had his “aha” moment – suck out the air! Not only will clothes be preserved but more importantly sucking out the air would condense their volume, thus creating more space. Flash forward to Harbor Freight Tools and the Set of Three Vacuum Storage Bags made from durable polyethylene and nylon. The Vacuum Storage Bags are reusable, airtight and watertight. Plus, they’re transparent so you can view the contents, making sure your three-year-old didn’t vacuum seal last night’s leftover lasagna while you fell asleep watching reruns of Breaking Bad. The set includes one large and two medium bags as well as a bonus roll-up compression bag. Pack clothing, blankets or camping gear in the Vacuum Storage Bags then use your vacuum cleaner to remove the air from inside. No pimentos needed!
Thanks to Horatio Fanglehorn and Harbor Freight Tools, you can visit any one of our 500 stores and put an end to the Puffy Clothes Crisis once and for all…
Vacuum Storage Bags, Set of Three